


Taken Back

by Mistress_Kalamity



Series: My Heart's To Blame [13]
Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: Epilepsy, Hallucinations, M/M, Police, change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 02:50:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9858710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistress_Kalamity/pseuds/Mistress_Kalamity
Summary: He just wants things to be normal again....were they ever normal though





	

Summary: The effects start to rear their ugly heads.

Tom recovered well. That's all Georg could say to himself as he sat alone in the living room. He couldn't see anything being wrong. He denied what was in his own eyes. Something's different. He knew it. He had known it since before they left the hospital. Tom's different. He pulls the beer up to his lips and the now room temperature beverage coats his mouth. Its not as refreshing anymore. Now, it just leaves behind a sour taste. A taste that reminds the bassist of his own denied thoughts; his own denied feelings. "Pop, are you okay?" Georg snaps back and looks up at his daughter. She's holding her baby sister and both girls are dressed in bathing suits.

"And where are my pretty girls going?"

"Since Sassy here is learning to swim, I figure I'll give her some extra lessons in the pool. Daddy said its fine as long as I bring her floaties and the tube for when she's tired."

"Uh where is your father?"

"Laundry room. I told him you said to rest but he said he wants to get back into the swing of things. Oma and uncle b even told him to chill too," she shrugs. Georg gets up off the couch and walks down the narrow hall behind the stairwell. He could hear the sounds of the washer hard at work cleaning food stains out of small clothing. Georg walks in slowly, quietly approaching from behind. Tom's folding clothes, humming to himself.

"You don't ever listen, do you?" Georg chuckles as he slips his arms around Tom's waist, pulling his groin up against Tom's ass. The younger male smiles to himself and turns his head to kiss his husband.

"And be bored all day? Geo, you really don't know me, I can't sit around and do nothing. It's just laundry."

"It starts with laundry with you and then it escalates to vacuuming and then you're cleaning up the whole house. Tom, you've been, I guess you can say recovered, for about a month," Georg sighs. "The therapist said it's okay to resume things but take it easy. This isn't taking it easy." Tom turns to face his husband and behind the framed glasses sat a gaze of regret and betrayal.

"Georg...don't. I honestly can't sit around and do nothing. I know you're worried and I know that. I just don't want to be the sick, frail husband."

"Babe, if this is about the whole hospital hallu--."

"Don't talk about that. Recovery from the surgery led to a lot of weird shit happening. Things that I won't let happen again. So please Geo, don't force me into a normalcy that suits your tastes and not mine."

"I didn't mean to do that. T, my bad. Can I help you with laundry? Would that make things better?"

"Not really. I just want to be alone right now."

Georg pecks his husband's lips and quietly exits the room. Tom turns back to his basket of clothes when he swears he hears Georg utter something under his breath. He turns abruptly and his husband is no longer standing right behind him. He hums to himself and turns back to the basket. He didn't want to believe it was starting again. He wanted to be well again. Tom folds and refolds the same shirt over and over again, trying will the negative thoughts away. He's fine and he's normal.

"Daddy?!" He hears, sending him rushing out of the laundry room and into the foyer between the back door and basement door. He flies out to the backyard, Georg on his heels because he saw his husband in a panic.

"Milo?! Is everything okay? Why'd you scream for me?" Tom calls to the teen in the pool playing with her little sister. She's surprised to see both her fathers out there and even more so to hear Tom's accusations.

"Dad, I never called you." Tom places a hand on his forehead and looks at his children with his mouth slightly agape.

"But I thought..."

"Okay, you need to lie down," Georg coos, while trying to lead Tom back into the house.

"Stop treating me like a child, Georg! I am fine alright. I just made a mistake is all."

"Honey, you're overworking yourself again. I promise you, just relax an---"

"God! You're doing it again?!"

"Tom, what are you---"

"Stop babying me! I am fine! I just made a friggin mistake! Can I not make mistakes, Georg? Or is that just me and my faulty wiring acting all bizarre again?" The brunette tightens his lips and firms his gaze. He didn't want to pick a fight in front of their children. Georg and he could go for hours, arguing relentlessly especially when Tom's pride got mixed up in it. The quiet male raises his hands in defeat and Tom saunters back into the house, Georg's heart beating violently in his chest.

****

"Daddy, I have practice in an hour," Milo announces to her parent after an early morning breakfast. She was helping Tom wash dishes and clean up. Her father looks at his watch and figures it'll take Georg too long to be fully prepared to take her to the school. With a sigh, he shoots his husband a text and grabs his car keys off the counter.

"I'll take you, do you have all your gear?" He huffs.

"Are you sure? I can just wait for Pop."

"Its fine. He still hasn't even showered yet. Look, it won't take long and I need to get back in the swing of things. My license still works, I've been cleared to drive and I don't see any obstacles in my way." Milo skeptically accepts the ride but her stomach churns. Last time he said those words, he had a full on tonic clonic seizure in the middle of the road. Her heart tells her to wait for Georg. Just wait but her head tells her that its barely half hour away and there should be no issue.

With her duffel in tow, she follows her dad out to his white range rover. She tosses her bag into the back seat and then climbs into the passenger side. She watches as Tom goes through the process to secure safe travel and then he turns to his oldest with a smile. "Ready? Or do you wanna grab anything else?"

"No, I've got everything." The car pulls out of the driveway, Georg rushes to the window once he glances at his phone. Dammit, why didn't he shower sooner? Oh that's right because he and Tom switched chores, he thinks to himself. Usually Georg washes the dishes and Tom gets Sasha put together but with Tom's recent bouts of vertigo, or what he's been telling Georg is vertigo, they both agreed that would be the safer option.

The fear bubbles in his chest and he wants to chase after him. Stop the car. Anything. But his feet remain cemented to the floor. Tom would be angry if nothing happens and Georg forced him to stay home. At the same time, he knew how dangerous it would be if something were to happen. Green eyes catch a glimpse of an old photo of himself with Tom. Back when the medication worked; back when he didn't have to constantly worry about Tom gorking out unexpectedly; back when Tom was truly happy. An air of fear always sat between them, against both their wishes. He held onto the edge of his bedframe and leans forward to pick up the framed photo. God, Tom used to be a ray of just happiness and sunshine, he smiles. He remembers their first kiss so vividly. First real one anyway.

They had gone out after Tom had another argument with Bill about his medication. Georg wanted to make him feel better. They got pints and went to the old factory they hung out in. The brunette watched him eat his coffee ice cream with a look of disdain on his face. That flavor was his favorite, so Georg knew it wasn't the frozen treat. He hated fights, especially ones with his brother. The older male pulled Tom into his body, trying to comfort him. They met eyes under the horrible lighting and Georg leans in, they meet halfway and the sparks that erupted between them had Georg pining for more. Never had they kissed like that before. It was mostly pecks and little nose touches. That night Tom opened up his intimacy and Georg had been charged with protecting it.

He looks down at the kids in that photo and fresh tears roll down his cheeks. What happened to them? He used to be so happy and now he feels the world won't let him feel like he did when they were teenagers. The passion was replaced with constant worrying and the love replaced with caretaking. Tom is his husband and he knew he didn't love him the same. Their love changed as his epilepsy did. He wants to spend every moment with him yet he knows Tom will most likely die before him.

His thoughts are interrupted by his phone and he answers almost too quickly. "H---hello?" He stammers without glancing at the caller id.

"Pop, its Milo. Dad's freaking out."

"Freaking out how, Mi?"

"We were driving and all of a sudden he just started panicking. He threw me out of the car and locked himself inside. He's not responding to me or the police that showed up. They might have to force their way in but I told them they could trigger a seizure if they broke in."

"Fuck. Okay, did he say anything before his panic attack?"

"Uh, I don't remem---yes! Yes! He said uh....fuck, he said its too loud."

"Too loud? Was the radio on? Was there traffic?"

"No, he just said its too loud. Pop, I'm scared. Is Daddy okay?"

Georg could hear the tremble in her voice. She is on the verge of tears and it broke his heart. Why did this have to happen? Again?! A fall in his own bathroom led to unpredictable auditory and visual hallucinations. He couldn't be left alone. Not if he could snap out of sanity like that. The saddened older male finds Mike playing with Sasha, he can't cry in front of the assistant. He just can't. Things were better is the lie he told himself. He wants things to get better and it hurt because he knew they'd only progressively get worse. "Hey, I gotta go handle something. Can you watch Sasha?"

"Sure. Is everything okay?" Mike asks standing to his feet, dusting his hands off on his pants.

"Yeah, I mean no but I can take care of it."

"Is it Tom? I can ca---"

"No don't call anyone. Look, I have to take care of this, just do as I say and watch Sasha please?" Georg interjects. The black haired male could see and hear Georg's pleading. He just wasn't able to fully function at the moment and he felt like a failure. The bassist rushes out of the house and to his car. He texts Milo asking for the address but upon receiving it decides to hail a cab instead. Tom's car was already there and he didn't know if he'd need emergency medical attention.

He doesn't say anything as he rides in silence to the location, the car stopping just outside the barricade the police put up. He pays the driver and rushes up to the cop directing traffic away from the scene. "Excu---excuse me, nobody is allowed to cr---cross this line," the clearly young cop stammers. Georg pulls out his license and explains that he's been called to the scene by his daughter who is inside the barricade. The rookie takes his id into shaky hands and calls to confirm his identity.

"Pop?! Pop, I'm over here!" Milo calls from the side of the car. Without retrieving his license, he rushes through a space in the barrier and rushes over to his daughter. She's scared but not moving from her spot. Georg can see why though. From her place, she can see Tom's position perfectly clear. She can also see the cops moving around the perimeter. Once they pull away from their hug, Georg raises his hands in surrender at the rookie who looked ready to draw his weapon.

"Hold on, I'm with them. Your superiors told my daughter to call me."

“You ca--cannot just cross a p--police barricade without c--clearance,” he stutters. Georg comes to the conclusion that this guy just has a stutter. As a police officer, that must not be a merry go round. He hands the plastic rectangle back to Georg and goes back to his position. Another cop, explains the situation to Georg once more before turning him loose to try and deescalate his panicked husband. He approaches the passenger side door and knocks on the window. He catches Tom's gaze before the latter reaches across the gear shift column and unlocks the door. Georg climbs inside, locking the door behind him. “Babe, what's going on with you?”

“There's too much noise and then when I looked over there was a strange girl sitting next to me. I swear I didn't cheat on you, Gee.”

“Cheat on me? Tom, what year is it?”

“That's a stupid question, its 2009.” Georg's mouth gets slightly agape. The fears he ignored were slapping him in the face. Tom couldn't even drive without having lapses. Damn. His older husband holds 

“No, sweetheart, its not.”

“What?” Tom croaks, his voice breaks as reality comes crashing down. “I don't understand.”

“Tom, you and I got married on August 23, 2010. In 2015, you and I adopted Milo and, after a few days, Sasha. The year is currently 2017. January of 2017 at that.”

“I don't understand. How could---oh god! Its happening again! Georg I'm losing it again!”

“No honey, you're not losing it. I promise. You're just tired. When you're tired, its easier for your brain to mix things up a little.”

“I wanna lie down,” Tom mutters.

“I'll take you home. Can you get out the car so we can switch seats?” Tom's shocked by all the cops surrounding his car. He's even more surprised no paparazzi showed up. They usually arrived when these things happen. Very apprehensively, Tom crosses the front of the car, taking Georg's hand as soon as they are seated inside. He watches as Georg explains his condition to the cops. He's told to bring his license to the precinct the following morning after he's gotten some rest. Tom knew that was coming. He caused a whole traffic jam without even having an accident. What Tom didn't realize was Georg changed. He didn't notice that Georg tightened his grip on the wheel; he didn't notice that his husband kept looking over at him; he didn't notice the worried aura behind his green eyed gaze. “Tom, why wasn't Hunter with you?” Georg asks, breaking the silence.

“I left him to play. I honestly didn't think I'd need him,” Tom sighs, clearly exhausted.

“Tom...this is why you ended up this way!” Georg scolds.

“Can this wait? I'm really tired.”

“No! Tom, when will you get it that you cannot afford to be that irresponsible?! I try so fucking hard to protect you and you have to be reckless?! Why?!”

“Georg, I am not in the mood right now. Can we postpone this argument?”

“And like I said, absolutely not! Answer my question!”

“If it were up to you, Bill and my mother, I’d be locked away in a tower just like Prince John.”

“That’s not fair. Tom, we care about you. You don’t realize how dangerous your hallucinations can be and that is what’s frightening me the most. You just don’t care!”

“Do you think I’m not scared?! Georg, I am terrified. Okay! Is that what you wanna hear?! That I live in fear! So what if I’m afraid?! Doesn’t mean I have to live in constant sadness and remain hidden. That’s why my music is so important and why I left that damn dog home! I wanted to be a normal father taking his daughter to basketball practice. Just….leave me alone, Georg.”

“Leave you alone? Leave you alone?! You could've killed our child, twice! Don't you think someone might call child services?! Fuck, you never think!”

“Georg, my head hurts. I don't know what that means, you know, since my epilepsy has changed since the surgery. So can you please just drop it?”

“Drop it? I'm so tired of jus---.”

“Pop, just let it go!” Georg had forgotten in his frustration that Milo was in the car. He turns to look at her briefly before returning his eyes to the wheel. The white range rover comes to a complete stop outside the gym that she normally practiced at. “I'm well over half an hour late,” she groans.

“Don't worry. I'll call your coach as you walk in. Go.” Milo looked between her parents, knowing that Georg only did this because he wanted to continue his conversation with Tom, uninterrupted. She didn't want to leave her fragile dad alone with her more aggressive father. After the events on that road, Milo knew her dad isn't the same man he used to be. Her gaze holds longer on Tom, his pushed up glasses abandoned so he could massage the nerves behind them. 

“I'm not going.”

“Mi, would you do as you’re told?”

“Why? So you can yell at daddy again? No way! You're going to leave him alone, even if it means I have to defy you!” She exclaims. Georg looks at Tom and then sighs. That was not his intention, at least not at first. He wanted to talk to his husband. Just talk. Explain himself and pray Tom does the same. Milo sensed that he'd start to continue their conversation as soon as she is in that building and they've driven off. 

“I am not going to fight with your father. I understand that he’s tired and when he’s ready to talk then we will. Now, I believe I told you to do something,” Georg scolds. The teen stands firm in her seat. Georg curses to himself for letting her spend so much time with Bill because she’s making his face. The stubborn one. The one he makes when he’s gearing up to fight for what he believes to be right. “Miliani, I told you to go inside that gym, now go.”

“Don’t call me that! My name is Milo!” The teen defends. 

“Sweetheart, for me, can you just do as your father says? My headache is getting worse and you know how loud he can get,” Tom sighs, putting a hand back to rest on his daughter’s knee. Not looking back at her directly but through the rearview mirror. She sighs and climbs out of the car, pulling her duffel with her. The island girl watches as the car pulls off and worry resting in her chest.

“So, do you still wanna talk?” Tom asks, quietly. Georg looks over at him before facing the road again. He honestly just wanted to talk to his husband about what happened. What he heard. Just talk to him but all he did was pull over the car and face his husband, tears in his eyes. “Georg, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“I’m sorry. I am so sorry. That day you fell in the shower. God, I could’ve….I could’ve prevented all of this. You got worse because I couldn’t just be there. Why wasn’t I there?”

“Georg---.”

No, Tom, I am sorry for always yelling at you and making you feel like you’re weak and inadequate. I know it’s all my fault. Everything is my fault. You’re more stressed out by me than our daughters. You’re more stressed out with me than you have ever been with Bill. I don’t mean to do it,” Georg sobs. Tom can feel in his soul that Georg is only crying like this because he hadn’t ever done this with Tom. Sure he’s apologized and he’s argued but he’s never told Tom how he really genuinely feels. 

The tears that fall from his eyes are tears of genuine fear. 

“Georg, where is this coming from? Please just tell me,” Tom whimpers, close to crying himself from seeing his normally unemotional husband break down before him. 

“I….I honestly haven’t been the….ideal partner for you. I…..I let so many things slide that I shouldn’t have. I let so many people hu---hurt you. I let so many things….nearly kill you and yet I am yelling at you as if I…..as if I….as if I am some great savior. And….and I’m not,” Georg hiccups. 

“Babe, you have been the ideal partner. Stop it.” The brunette shakes his head and takes his husband’s trembling hand. They meet eyes and all Georg can do is sob louder. 

“Tom, you need to be honest….honest with me. I know that my inability to truly be there and be someone you can love passionately has been taking a toll on you...on us.” The younger male looks down and whimpers. “I know that I have been acting….completely…uh out of character with you. It’s only because I am afraid.”

“Why are you so afraid?”

“I am afraid to lose you. I want to spend my whole life with you. I want to grow old and chuckle at our grandchildren. I want for our family to have just one normal day,” Georg cries. Tom pulls his crying spouse into his arms and holds him as tightly as he can. He was not expecting for Georg to break down like this. The older male was practically shaking in his arms from his own sobs, his thumbs pretty much pressed into Georg’s arms. 

“Georg you ain’t gonna lose me. I swear. No matter what, I am here. I am here for you and our kids and nothing, not my epilepsy or my screwy brain is going to change that.”

“Why can’t things just go back to way they used to be? That’s really all I want. I just want us to be us again.”

“Georg….so what if things are a little different?”

“Tom….I want to be in love with you. Not just care about you deeply. Not just worry about you. I feel that I still love you but my love is being smothered by all the worrying and I don’t wanna worry anymore. I just want to stop worrying.”

“Then stop,” Tom chuckles. Georg looks up at Tom and wipes the tears in his eyes away. He couldn’t stop worrying. Tom still needed him to be there and he still needed to help with the girls. He couldn’t just stop worrying. And now that Tom’s license is going to officially be revoked, he had to worry even more about what Tom’s going to do about transportation. He’d either have to drive him everywhere or hire a driver. Tom would lose it if he hired a driver. 

So many things he didn’t want to think or worry about yet here they are. The worries. He meets Tom’s gaze and they boil like hot water in his stomach. Yup, the worries are here but all he could do was apologize for ruining Tom’s shirt with his emotional bullshit and turned back to the steering wheel. “Personally, Geo, I think you worrying about me is how you love me. You’re a worrier. Even in the band, you get the most nervous before every show. You worry about everything.”

“Please, if anything you make yourself sick with worry...literally,” Georg snorts back jokingly. Tom puts his glasses back on and takes Georg’s hand on the column between them. This is what he missed. The closeness. The ability to joke. Why couldn’t they joke anymore? He didn’t understand. Was it his seizures? Did they get that bad? Tom looks out the window at the moving images. He didn’t realize Georg started to drive again until he saw a tree pass his window. He looks back at the older male and frowns. He wanted normalcy again too. Something he missed. He turns away from Georg and silent tears roll down his cheeks, getting lost in his facial hair. Silent apologies escape his heart, all for Georg and his family.


End file.
